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Stop the Diaper Changing Battles
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care
Babies are little bundles of energy! They don’t want to lie still to
have their diapers changed. They cry, fuss, or even crawl away. A
simple issue can turn into a major tug-of-war between parent and
baby.
Diaper changing as a ritual
The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is perfect
for creating a bonding experience between you. You are leaning over
your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length distance for
engaging eye contact and communication. What’s more, this golden
opportunity presents itself many times during each day; no matter
how busy you both get, you have a few moments of quiet connection.
It’s too valuable a ritual to treat it as simply maintenance.
Learning about your baby
Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb your
baby’s cues and signals. You’ll learn how his little body works,
what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose bumps. As you lift,
move, and touch your baby, your hands will learn the map of his body
and what’s normal for him. This is important because it will enable
you to easily decipher any physical changes that need attention.
Developing trust
Regular diaper changes create rhythm in your baby’s world and afford
the sense that the world is safe and dependable. They are regular
and consistent episodes in days that may not always be predictable.
Your loving touches teach your baby that he is valued, and your
gentle care teaches him that he is respected.
A learning experience for your baby
Your baby does a lot of learning during diaper changes. It’s one of
the few times that she actually sees her own body without clothes,
when she can feel her complete movements without a wad of diaper
between her legs. Diaper-off time is a great chance for her to
stretch her limbs and learn how they move.
During changing time, your baby is also a captive audience to your
voice, so she can focus on what you are saying and how you are
saying it — an important component of her language learning process.
Likewise, for a precious few minutes, you are her
captive audience, so you can focus on what she’s saying and
how she is saying it — crucial to the growth of your relationship.
What your baby thinks and feels
Many active babies could not care less if their diapers are clean.
They’re too busy to concern themselves with such trivial issues. It
may be important to you, but it’s not a priority for your child.
Diaper rash or uncomfortable diapers (wrong size or bad fit) can
make him dread diaper changes, so check these first. Once you’re
sure all the practical issues are covered, make a few adjustments in
this unavoidable process to make it more enjoyable.
Take a deep breath
Given the number of diapers you have to change, it’s possible that
what used to be a pleasant experience for you has gotten to be
routine, or even worse, a hassle. When parents approach diaper
changing in a brisk, no-nonsense way, it isn’t any fun for Baby. Try
to reconnect with the bonding experience that diaper changing can be
-- a moment of calm in a busy day when you share one-on-one time
with your baby.
Have some fun
This is a great time to sing songs, blow tummy raspberries, or do
some tickle and play. A little fun might take the dread out of
diaper changes for both of you. A game that stays fresh for a long
time is “hide the diaper.” Put a new diaper on your head, on your
shoulder, or tucked in your shirt and ask, “Where’s the diaper? I
can’t find it!” A fun twist is to give the diaper a name and a silly
voice, and use it as a puppet. Let the diaper call your child to the
changing station and have it talk to him as you change it. (If you
get tired of making Mister Diaper talk, just remember what it was
like before you tried the idea.)
Use distraction
Keep a flashlight with your changing supplies and let your baby play
with it while you change him. Some kids’ flashlights have a button
to change the color of the light, or shape of the ray. Call this his
“diaper flashlight” and put it away when the change is complete. You
may find a different type of special toy that appeals to your little
one, or even a basket of small interesting toys. If you reserve
these only for diaper time, they can retain their novelty for a long
time.
Try a stand-up diaper
If your baby’s diaper is just wet (not messy), try letting her stand
up while you do a quick change. If you’re using cloth diapers, have
one leg pre-pinned so that you can slide it on like pants, or opt
for pre-fitted diapers that don’t require pins.
Time to potty train?
If your child is old enough and seems ready for the next step,
consider potty training.
This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth
Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
You
are welcome to reprint this article on your website or in your
newsletter, provided that you reprint the entire article, including
the complete byline with author's name and book title. Please also
send a link or copy to elizabeth@pantley.com. Thank you.
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